Polyamory, Agápē, and the Therapy Room

As someone who identifies as a solo polyamorist, I see polyamory as more than a relationship structure. It feels like a way of life, a practice of openness, and a recognition that love is abundant. Love does not run out when it is shared. Instead, it expands. This is something I carry not only in my personal relationships but also into my work as a therapist.

Polyamory has taught me how to hold multiple truths and multiple connections with care. In therapy, this shows up as what Carl Rogers described as unconditional positive regard. It is the ability to meet each person with respect and acceptance without judgment. When I sit with clients, I am drawing from the same well of love that guides my polyamorous identity. This love is expansive and rooted in the belief that every person deserves to be seen and supported in becoming fully themselves.

The ancient Greeks called this kind of love agápē. It is a love for humankind, unconditional and selfless. Agápē is not about desire or possession. It is about extending compassion simply because we are human. For me, therapy has become one of the most meaningful ways to live out agápē. It is how I funnel the love I hold in my heart into the greater good, offering it as a resource for healing and growth.

Being both a solo polyamorist and a therapist means embracing complexity while staying connected to something simple and powerful. Love heals. The love I bring into my practice is not meant to replace the love my clients already hold within themselves. It is there to help spark it, so that together we can nurture growth, resilience, and a deeper connection to the self and others.

Warm regards,
Belle Love

Lived Experience: The Dichotomies of Parenthood

In an earlier blog post about the shadow self, I reflected on the light and dark parts we all carry, the sides of ourselves we feel proud to show and the ones we have been taught to hide. This exploration of duality is becoming a thread that runs through my writing and my life. It shows up in my reflections on identity, on ethical non-monogamy, and now, in what I am sharing here: the deeply personal experience of being a parent, and more specifically, a single parent.

Parenthood has been my greatest teacher in holding opposites. Love and struggle often arrive together, and the intensity of parenting can bring both to the surface in the same breath. This is not an abstract concept for me; it is my daily reality. I have always been someone who pours myself fully into the season I am in. When it is time to work, I give everything I have to my commitments, my learning, and my goals. When it is time to play, I immerse myself in joy, connection, and freedom. These shifts have always been part of my rhythm, yet in parenting, they feel magnified. Parenting is love and despair, joy and exhaustion, pride and fear, often all at once. The emotions are sharp and vivid, and they coexist in ways that defy logic yet feel completely human.

In my world, I go from zero to one hundred with my kids. I do not have them, and then I do. When I do, it is just me. The shift is jarring. I go from full autonomy, steering my life, growing my business, and moving through my days on my own terms, to having two small humans who need me for everything. My time, my energy, and my attention. When they are here, I do not choose my own adventures as freely as I do otherwise. Parenting is a constant lesson in living within opposing truths. It is the surrender of control and the discovery of strength. It is the challenge of being fully present for them while not losing sight of myself. It is the reminder that life’s richest experiences often live in the tension between two extremes.

I suspect that, over time, I will continue to share different sides of myself here as a parent, a therapist, and a human being navigating my own complexities. In these stories, whether I am speaking about relationships, identity, or the inner world, there is a common thread. It is the belief that all parts of us, light and shadow, joy and pain, belong in the story of who we are.

Embracing my entirety. Grateful for this dichotomy.
Belle Love

If you are curious about where this theme began, you may want to read my earlier post, What is the Shadow Self? where I first started exploring the idea that all of our parts, the ones we celebrate and the ones we hide, are worthy of love and belonging

Embracing Solo Polyamory: A Journey of Independence and Connection

In the landscape of modern relationships, solo polyamory stands out as a testament to the beauty of independence and self-love. As someone who embraces this lifestyle, I find joy in curating a life that honours my autonomy and personal space. Living in my own sanctuary, I balance the responsibilities of parenthood, running a business, and nurturing meaningful connections.

Solo polyamory is not about rejecting relationships; it is about redefining them. It offers the freedom to form deep, loving bonds without the expectation of cohabitation or merging lives. For me, this means being in connection with a lover who lives in another city, while also holding space for the love I have for myself and the equally meaningful relationships that are platonic or familial in nature.

This approach aligns closely with the REACH framework, a conceptualization I developed to guide ethical non-monogamy. REACH stands for Respect, Evolution, Autonomy, Communication, and Honesty. These values support relationships that are liberating, intentional, and grounded in mutual understanding. When we lead with these principles, we create space for trust and authenticity to flourish in all our connections.

Embracing solo polyamory has shown me that the most meaningful relationship is the one I have with myself. When rooted in self-awareness and self-love, we can extend that depth outward and build bridges to others in ways that honour both our individuality and our shared humanity.

If my words resonate with you, I invite you to stay connected. Whether you're exploring solo polyamory, embracing your shadow side, or simply seeking more honest relationships, you're welcome here. Feel free to reach out, subscribe, or continue following along as we navigate the beauty of ethical love, one truth at a time.

Belle Love

What is the “Shadow Self?”

What if the parts of you you've been taught to hide are actually the most powerful keys to healing?

I've lived a life of duality for as long as I can remember. In high school, I was a straight-A student, serving on the student council, writing for the school newspaper, and playing sports. Meanwhile, on weekends, I would party, chase boys, and dance at raves. Then do it all over again. In university, the same rhythm continued; ambitious and disciplined during the week, wild and expressive on weekends. I walked between two worlds: one that earned praise and the other that stirred fear and shame. I worried that being fully seen would cost me credibility or connection. So I hid, keeping part of myself a secret from most. My dirty little secret.

As I entered adulthood, I followed the relationship script that was handed to me. I fell in love, got engaged, married, and had children. And for a time, I felt a sense of fulfillment. But eventually, I realized that the mould I had conformed to didn't reflect my true self, so I chose to unravel it all, and in doing so, discovered new relationship frameworks—structures like ethical non-monogamy, which offered me more freedom, alignment, and authenticity. Once again, though, I found myself navigating spaces that felt misunderstood or judged by the mainstream. Because of these extremes, I've learned to live in the grey, where shadow and light coexist. I've come to see that the parts I once tried to hide were never wrong, but rather, they were waiting to be welcomed.
My shadow self: the wild, wounded, sensual, and curious parts were just as worthy of love as the light I offered the world.

This is why I'm drawn to people who often feel like outsiders. Not because they're broken, but because they're beautifully complex. I've spent years immersed in communities of lovers, ravers, creatives, caregivers, professionals, and spiritual seekers, many of whom are those I hope to support as a therapist in Toronto. I call them shadow cultures, spaces rich in expression, connection, and embodied truth, yet often stigmatized or misunderstood. Inspired by Carl Jung's theory of the shadow self, my work centers on the belief that the parts we repress—our hedonistic tendencies, sensuality, rage, grief, shame, intensity, and desires—are not to be exiled. These shadow aspects are messengers. They hold unspoken needs, unprocessed pain, and unclaimed power. In therapy, we make space for these hidden parts, not to judge them, but to meet them with compassion and curiousity. This is the heart of my therapeutic practice. Gentle, yet profound. An exploration of love, identity, connection, boundaries, self-worth, and what it means to live an honest life.

As I prepare to open my practice, I envision working with individuals who live, work, or love in spaces that challenge convention. You don't have to over-explain these experiences with me. I understand the nuance. I've walked many of these paths myself and bring lived experience, psychological and sociological research, and therapeutic training into every session. If you're seeking a therapist who speaks your language and views your complexity not as a problem, but as a strength, you're in the right place.

I cannot wait to meet you…
… with an open mind and an open heart.

Belle Love

My path. My purpose.

I didn’t always know where I was going, but I’ve always known there was more.
More to love.
More to connection.
More to identity.
More to this human experience than just surviving.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve felt things deeply. I’ve stood at the edge of convention, often questioning what others accepted without pause. I’ve experienced the intensity of heartbreak, the weight of shame, the complexity of love, and the quiet ache of disconnection, even in rooms full of people. And I’ve rebuilt, more than once, from those very moments.

My path has never been linear. I’ve danced in the subcultures, stood inside systems, broken free from boxes, and followed a call that most couldn’t quite understand. Every step has led me here.
From studying deviance in books to studying deviance on dancefloors.
From managing fitness facilities to managing nap schedules and midnight feeds.
From Reiki tables to therapy rooms.
And here…
…well, here is precisely where I’m meant to be.

My purpose is simple:
To be a light.
To walk with people through the dark.
To help them remember who they are, beyond the noise, beyond the shame, beyond the roles they’ve outgrown.

I believe that love is boundless, healing is possible, and authenticity is our greatest power. I hold space for those navigating love and identity on their own terms. For the seekers, the outsiders, the overthinkers, the overfeelers. For those who’ve been told they were “too much” or “not enough.” For those redefining themselves after parenthood, divorce, trauma, or transition.

This isn’t just therapy. It’s soul work.
It’s truth work.
It’s a remembering.
And with my whole heart, I'm here for it.

Welcome to Belle Love Integrative Therapy.
Welcome to the journey home to yourself.